We really wish we could improve on this story to make it funnier…but we can’t.  You win reality…this time.

- E=MC²

Continue reading "Moos Short: Defeated by Reality" »

This article says a poll indicates more people are starting to think that global warming claims are exaggerated.  In a related poll conducted by us, we found that 100% of inhabitable planets in the solar system don’t care what its habitants, or their polls, say.  When asked if one side of the global warming debate was correct in their opinions, the planet said, “No comment. But you’ll find out who’s right and wrong soon enough. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to continue to rotate and proceed along my orbit as dictated by physical laws that none of my current inhabitants fully comprehend and will continue to do so until my sun goes through an astronomical occurance that makes me uninhabitable like the rest of the planets. By the way, did you know that I travel around the sun at an average speed of 29.78 kilometers a second? Usain Bolt is a three-legged tortoise compared to me.”

- E=MC²

Continue reading "Moos Short: Global Skepticism?" »

Rush Limbaugh said he would leave the USA within five years to receive health care if the current health care legislation in this country is passed. Umm…Rush…how is you promising to leave, even for a short health care trip (you may want to discuss the length of your trip with your physician since it doesn’t seem like you have a clean medical history), going to change any Democrat’s, liberal’s, or progressive’s mind on this legislation? Seriously, isn’t this like Osama bin Laden saying “if America doesn’t pull out of Afghanistan tomorrow I will shoot myself in the leg?” Might we suggest a different strategy on your part…promise to text all 535 members of the legislative body “nekkid pics” of your body covered in grape jelly, if it passes.

We’re just trying to point out that your statement to leave, for any amount of time, like how some Hollywood-types statements of leaving the country for awhile over their view of the Bush Administration, might not be have the intended outcome. But, you might be able to get Democrats to earmark you a few one-way international plane tickets if you play your cards right.

Continue reading "Moos Short: Rush Abroad" »

This fascinating article provides some sage financial advice in these tough economic times.  The gist of the article: spend less and earn more. We researched this publication further and discovered more astoundingly insightful articles that provided helpful life lessons like:

To lose weight – eat less, exercise more.

To enjoy life more fully – cry less, laugh more.

To not smell bad – sweat less, shower more

and

To lessen the chance of sounding stupid: write less, think more.

Continue reading "Moos Short: Write Less, Think More" »

Recently some Democrats have been under fire for corruption and alleged sexual harassment of staff members just a couple years after the Republican party was rocked by similar scandals.

Researching this string of scandalous behavior further, anonymous sources in Washington, DC have informed us that the lone truly bipartisan government entity is the Federal Kickback and Buggery Committee. The membership of this shadow committee is rumored to number around 535.

When asked to comment on its existence, a supposed member of the FKB replied, “It depends on what the definition of ‘it’ is.”

- E=MC²

Continue reading "Moos Short: The Only Bipartisan Committee" »