We could not help but notice, as we played with the new, improved aluminum foil on the high-tech programmable rabbit ears to unfreeze the image of the evening news and remove the digital leprosy from Katie’s face after C² had chainsawed the first rabbit ears during his vision quest, the talking heads discussing climate change. They agreed it was bad.

On our farm, the weather in the winter is sometimes cold and mostly dry. Sometimes we get a little moisture as snow in the spring and during fall. In the summer, it can get a mite toasty and really dry. We often see rocks dry out, turn to dust, and float away. No one thought to ask us if we considered climate change bad, so we went in search of local expertise to discuss this notion. (continue reading…)

Continue reading "Global Warming Might Not Be So Bad" »

B

Bipartisan (adj): 1) The political version of bi-curious. 2) An inclusive viewpoint of governance that many politicians grow out of during their time in office due to the realization they are taking it in both ends from the partisans.

D

Deficit (n): The financial hole a country digs itself into when its government tries to make a ditch big enough to please all of its constituents all of the time.

To view the complete Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary and to offer new definitions go here.

Continue reading "Update to The Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary 02/04/2010" »

Because the majority of people are divided amongst whether “radical partisanship,” “the influence of lobbyists and special interests groups,” or “the blind voting for the blind” are the biggest problem with the American political system, the biggest problem has been determined to be…Squirrels. To help us rectify this bane upon our government we, E=MC², call upon Mike Huckabee to purchase a new popcorn popper and help us show these squirrels we mean business. We’re not going to take any more of their adorable, tail-waving, acorn-scavenging crap!

Continue reading "“What is the biggest problem with the American political system?” Poll Results" »

What we hear from our co-workers, friends, family, conspiracy theorists, news organizations, and others is that a large majority of the people are unhappy with the state of our nation. Why? Because our country has big problems that need good, solid, answers from informed, hardworking, no-nonsense people to figure it all out, or to at least let us know who to blame. But, when it comes to blame in these matters, there is often a problem with subjectivity, and perhaps, there just might be too many villains to choose from. Sometimes discussions of politics and matters of governmental policy in terms what needs to be done and who is to blame become so embittered they makes us wish for those simpler, better times…when they forbade the sale of alcohol on election days to prevent fist fights and destructive mobs.

We decided it was our civic duty to determine who truly resides at the heart of the legislative and media darkness that festers in the sole of our country’s shoe and makes us limp. Because, like everyone else, we love knowing who to blame and we want to unite our nation in a grand torch and pitchfork parade to run the bastards out. (continue reading…)

Continue reading "We Have Met the Enemy…" »

G

Gonorrhea Lectim (n): Pronounced “gonna re-elect them,” it is a virulent viral strain contracted by listening to too much Ppam.  Symptoms include apathy, obsessive name recognition, a burning sensation in the groin, and damaged nerve tissue that gives you the sensation you have been royally screwed…but just until the next election.

P

Ppam (n): Promises by Politicians in America.  Similar to spam, an obnoxious, socially reviled form of communication that pledges results the messenger has no intention of fulfilling.

T

Truck (n): A method of transportation often used as a stage prop by politicians to display their Real-American credibility.

To view the complete Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary, and to offer new definitions, go here.

Continue reading "Updates to the Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary 01/28/2010" »