Update to The Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary 03/11/2010

G

Governor (n): 1) On a rental truck, the device that keeps it in the slow lane. 2) An elected official who serves the same function for a state.

K

Kool-Aid (n): 1) A sickeningly-sweet, chemical-flavored infusion of political belief that it is required be consumed prior to access to any government money or power. 2) During the ’60’s, a drink spiked with mind-twisting, logic-shattering hallucinogens that made you see “make believe” and think it was real. (Editor’s note: We can’t see a difference between the definitions.)

P

Press Conference (n):  1) An executive or legislative attempt to use the media to force an opinion on the public like an iron-on patch.  2) An advertisement for a new flavor of Kool-Aid.  3) Rarely, an informative meeting between an official and members of the press.

V

Voting Machine (n): 1) An incumbent’s best friend. 2) A symbol of unspeakable dread, terror, and unimaginable personal violation for folks who can’t alter the programming with “New Voter Math.” (for Amy)

To view the complete Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary and to offer new definitions go here.