Updates to the Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary 01/14/2010

B

Blue Dog (n and adj): A creation caused by splicing the DNA of a social conservative with that of a fiscal liberal resulting in an incorrigible mutt that won’t stop sniffing your crotch whether you are at work or in your bedroom.

Bureaucracy (n): Originally, rule-by-drawer, now, rule by people wearing under-drawers on their heads in lieu of thought. (submitted by Jon)

P

Poll (n): 1) A measure of opinion deified by the news for supposedly being able to tell what over 300 million people are thinking by asking 300 people you’ve never met, none of whom had thought about the question before it was asked. 2) Something that, like salt, should be taken in grains as immoderate consumption results in obese punditry.  3) A Frankenstein’s monster created from the carcasses of previous stories on a slow news day.

Primary (n): 1) Process for stripping new ideas out of politics and ensuring that all will be, “business as usual.” (submitted by Jon) 2) Pre-planned vacation by politicians from their elected responsibilities. (from submission by Jon)

To view the complete Aminal Farmer’s Dictionary, go here.